August 2, 2020

From Codependent No More: “Sometimes codependents believe we can’t, shouldn’t, and don’t deserve to feel happy. Sometimes we do things to create sad feelings after experiencing happy feelings, or whenever the possibility of a happy feeling exists. It’s okay to feel happy. It’s okay to feel sad. Let the emotional energy pass through, and strive[…]

July 26, 2020

From Codependent No More: Dealing with our feelings means we can move out of the muck. It means if a feeling — energy — comes our way, we feel it. We take a few moments, acknowledge the sensation, and move on to the next step. We don’t censor. We don’t block. We don’t run from[…]

July 19, 2020

Acknowledge: Feel the feelings. Name them. Write them down. Say them. Draw them. Get them out. Examine: Deal with the feeling. Examine what’s behind the thoughts that go with it, and accept them without censorship. Next step: Decide on a next step. We evaluate the situation, then choose a behavior in line with our moral[…]

July 12, 2020

Keep dealing with your feelings. And do the things that support you — like therapy and support groups (A.A., men’s groups, whatever you need). From Codependent No More: “[Codependents] can quickly tell what someone else is feeling, why that person is feeling that way, how long they’ve felt that way, and what that person is[…]

July 5, 2020

When have accepted our loss, however minor or significant. From “Codependent No More” We are comfortable with it and our lives. We have adjusted and reorganized. Once more, we are comfortable with our present circumstances and ourselves. Not only are we comfortable with our circumstances and the changes we have endured, but we believe we[…]

June 21, 2020

This is the grieving process. It is also called the “forgiveness process,” — the healing process, and the way God works with us. A sense of loss is usually present, as is hope, which is sometimes unrealistic. From Codependent No More: Denial We feel crazy because we are lying to ourselves. We feel crazy because[…]

June 14, 2020

From Codependent No More: “Acceptance does not mean adaptation. It doesn’t mean resignation to the miserable way things are. It doesn’t mean accepting or tolerating any sort of abuse.” “In a state of acceptance we are able to respond responsibly to our environment. In this state we receive the power to change the things we[…]

June 1, 2020

From Codependent No More. “People … are faced daily with the prospect of either accepting or rejecting the reality of that particular day and present circumstances.” “We have a problem. Things are different. Things are changing. We’re losing something. Our present circumstances are no longer as comfortable as they were. Circumstance have been altered, and[…]

May 25, 2020

From Codependent No More: “To honor the self is to preserve an attitude of self-acceptance — which means to accept what we are, without self-oppression or self-castigation, without any pretense about the truth of our being, pretense aimed at deceiving either ourselves or anyone else.” More notes from Anushka Fernandopulle Dharma Talk on the evolution[…]

May 18, 2020

“We’re right where we’re supposed to be today, at this moment.” “If we have one character defect that is abhorrent, it is the way that we hate and pick on ourselves. We can stop picking on ourselves for picking on ourselves. This habit is not our fault either, but it is our responsibility to learn[…]