July 19, 2020

Acknowledge: Feel the feelings. Name them. Write them down. Say them. Draw them. Get them out.

Examine: Deal with the feeling. Examine what’s behind the thoughts that go with it, and accept them without censorship.

Next step: Decide on a next step. We evaluate the situation, then choose a behavior in line with our moral code and our new ideal of self-care.

From Codependent No More:

Is there a problem we need to solve? Is our thinking off-base? We may need to correct certain disaster-oriented thought patterns, such as: “I feel horribly afraid and sad because the car broke down, and it’s the end of the world.” It would be more accurate to say: “I feel sad and the car is broken.”

Is the problem something we can solve? Does it concern another person? Is it necessary or appropriate to discuss the feeling with another person? If so, when? Perhaps it is sufficient to merely feel the emotions and acknowledge the thoughts.

If the action you decide to take is radical, you could wait a day or so, until you are peaceful and your mind is consistent. In other words, detach.