June 1, 2020

From Codependent No More.

“People … are faced daily with the prospect of either accepting or rejecting the reality of that particular day and present circumstances.”

“We have a problem. Things are different. Things are changing. We’re losing something. Our present circumstances are no longer as comfortable as they were. Circumstance have been altered, and we have a new situation to accept. We may initially respond by denying or resisting the change, problem, or loss. We want things to be the way they were. We want the problem to be quickly solved. We want to be comfortable again. We want to know what to expect. We are not peaceful with reality. It feels awkward. We have temporarily lost our balance.”

“Perhaps the most painful loss many codependents face is the loss of our dreams, the hopeful and sometimes idealistic expectations for the future that most people have.”

“Accept reality? Half the time we don’t even know what reality is. We’re lied to; we lie to ourselves; and our heads are spinning. The other half of the time, facing reality is simply more than we can bear…”

“Codependents cannot change until we accept our codependent characteristics — our powerless over people, alcoholism, and other circumstances we have so desperately tried to control.”

“Acceptance is the ultimate paradox: we cannot change who we are until we accept ourselves the way we are.”

“It has also been my experience that my Higher Power seems reluctant to intervene in my circumstances until I accept what He has already given me. Acceptance is not forever. It is for the present moment. But it must be sincere and at gut-level.”