April 17, 2020

“Even if the worst is true. Even with all this, you will then say, ‘But I love him/her!’ When I respond, ‘Tell me, what is so lovable?’ there is no response. The answer doesn’t come, but the power of being emotionally stuck is far greater than the power of reason.”

“People who feel trapped look for escapes.”

Sometimes our escape can be healthy and become undependent: desirable balance wherein we acknowledge and meet our healthy, natural needs for people and love, yet we don’t become overly or harmfully dependent on them.

Unhealthy escapes can be harmful behaviors, including becoming dependent on someone that is like the other person we are trying to escape.

Sometimes we play tricks on ourselves to disguise our codependency. Some of these tricks include making someone more than he or she is (putting on a pedestal or idealizing), or making someone less than he or she is (putting down or thinking the worst). When in reality, thing are closer to being a mix of things? The middle path?

— Some portions from: “Codependent No More.”