July 26, 2020

From Codependent No More:

Dealing with our feelings means we can move out of the muck. It means if a feeling — energy — comes our way, we feel it. We take a few moments, acknowledge the sensation, and move on to the next step. We don’t censor. We don’t block. We don’t run from it. We don’t pass judgement on ourselves for our feelings. We experience them. And then we allow the energy to pass through our bodies, and we accept it as being our emotional energy, our feeling.

Our feelings don’t have to control us. Just because we’re angry, we don’t have to scream and hit. Just because we’re sad or depressed, we don’t have to lie in bed all day. Just because we’re scared, doesn’t mean we don’t apply for that job.

If we don’t feel our feelings responsibly, they will control us. We need to submit them to our intellect, our reason, and our moral and behavioral code of ethics.

Responding appropriately to our feelings also means we are liable for them. Each person’s feelings are his or her own. Nobody makes anyone feel; no one is ultimately responsible for our feelings except us, no matter how much we insist they are. People also cannot change the way we feel. Only we can do that. Furthermore, we not responsible for anyone else’s feelings, although we are responsible for choosing to be considerate of people’s feelings.